Why Reading the Women's Prize is So Important to Me This Year

Hi all!

So, I feel like this blog waffles back and forth between reviews and me sharing my deepest insecurities/secrets in a book-ish kind of way. Today’s post is 100% the latter. 

Here’s the thing. Every year, I set myself the seemingly unattainable goal of reading all of the Women’s Prize books. And every year I go into that goal knowing two things: 1) I won’t succeed, but 2) I will find some of my favorite reads of the year. And that’s what really matters.

This year, however, the goal has taken on a new meaning. And I don’t want to fail. Some days, it feels like I can’t. Let’s talk about it.

For people who know me in real life, I have a job that drains me more than I can ever articulate. There’s trauma. There’s vicarious trauma. There are grueling hours. And it has negatively impacted my physical and psychological help in ways that I haven’t fully figured out yet. I’m burnt out, now more than ever. And when I see that anecdote (if I can find the actual cite I will) that it takes 5 years to recover from burnout, I sometimes feel like I’ll never get there. I feel trapped. I feel overwhelmed. And I am seeking solace in books.

So why the Women’s Prize, when I set other goals earlier in the year?

The release of the nonfiction list coincided with what was supposed to be my first vacation in over a year. I’ve taken a few days off here or there, but this was going to be over a week, away from my work phone, not checking my emails, completely ignoring anything career related. I was supposed to see one of my best friends. I was supposed to be able to breathe.

And then something for work popped up. Something I couldn’t reschedule. Something I needed to prioritize. So I rescheduled my trip. But the work thing was only part of the time I was supposed to be gone, so I decided to take a long weekend that started the day the nonfiction list was released.

Perfect, right?

It should have been. But then something dramatic happened at work. Something that had nothing to do with me. But, for reasons that are both inappropriate and far too long to list in a blog post, I dealt with the fallout because the person actually affected decided I was the appropriate person to rant to. Starting before 6 AM. On my days off.

If I’m being honest, some slightly obnoxious texts shouldn’t have elicited the reaction that they did. But I was so much closer to the edge than I realized and I needed that vacation so much more than I knew, that I think something was permanently altered in my brain, especially when I found out that people I normally trust were actually the cause of the issue. They didn’t face any consequences though. And while it’s not like I got in “trouble” since I literally had NO part in the issue, having to deal with the fallout on my time that was supposed to be dedicated to the Women’s Prize books ruined the couple days that were supposed to be mine. Those were the days (albeit not 5 years) where I was supposed to be allowed to heal. 

My job has taken so much from me. I care about it. I care about what I do. That’s why I’m still doing it. But I’ve been robbed of so much that this year, reading the Women’s Prize books is no longer just a goal I know I can’t reach. It’s become a symbol for reclaiming just a sliver of the life that I’ve ceded to a job that, if I let it, would drain everything from me until I was just a husk of a human being.

So, this year, I’m manifesting it. I WILL read these books. I’m behind, but not impossibly so. And I’m going to succeed. This matters to me, this year more than ever. I need to prove that I can meet goals that aren’t work related. Because I don’t want to be fully defined by a job. 

So far, I’ve read the following: The Finest Hotel in Kabul*, Audition, Art Cure, and Artists, Siblings, and Visionaries. 

Because I’m such a mood reader, I’m also in the middle of a few: Flashlight, A Guardian and a Thief, Indignity, and Moderation.

*This post contains affiliate links. If you make purchases after using these links, I will earn a percentage of your purchase without any further cost to you. 

What Women’s Prize books have you read so far? Share below!